Secret Car Behavior

the subculture of tiny car rituals

Last week, walking into the grocery store, I saw a girl sitting in her car eating Flaming Hot Cheetos with chopsticks. Chopsticks!

I actually stopped and laughed, not at her but in recognition, because it was so specific, so deliberate, so…private. And immediately I thought: secret car behavior!

Last year I wrote about secret single behavior, the slightly unhinged, deeply personal rituals we only do when no one is watching, a phrase popularized from that one Sex and the City episode. But secret car behavior? It’s its own subculture. The car is a strange in-between space that’s not home, it’s not work and yet, it’s tangentially both. A satellite office, a temporary living room, a back hall closet, a private annex of your life that you’re not fully alone in, but also alone enough. And in that liminal pocket, very specific habits emerge.

For me? Eating Sweetgreen alone in my car when I’m in LA. A very specific joy usually in a parking spot I fed a meter $5 for, making each bite that much more of a delight. It feels indulgent in a way that’s almost absurd, until of course, someone pulls up next to you, idling, gesturing, silently willing you to vacate the spot they’ve already decided is theirs but it’s yours for $5 more worth and you will eat your salad there in peace! LA desperation parking drama aside, it’s almost like a wellness ritual. Eating all those greens alone, unbothered, zenned out, windows sealed.