End of My Hot Girl Era

THE WEEKLY EDIT:
Watching: 'Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones' on Netflix
I've always been fascinated by the blue zones: Okinawa, Japan; Ikaria, Greece; Sardinia, Italy; Nicoya, Costa Rica; and Loma Linda, California - where more people live significantly longer than average. In this four-part series, Dan Buettner takes you through the habits, diets, and lifestyles of blue zone centenarians and reveals 12 habits that can add years to your life.

Reading: "Redefining Comfort" Book by Jake Arnold
AD100 interior designer, and entrepreneur, Jake Arnold launched a coffee table book and I plan to devour it! I've loved and followed his taste for years and in his lushly photographed book, he explores nine of the interiors he's created - linking each one to a crucial aspect of his design philosophy.

p.s. great gift for any design-loving friends and/or a good option for housewarmings/the holidays.

Going: Pelican Hill
We went to Pelican Hill in Newport Beach for our last trip as a family of four and I LOVED it! We rented a villa which was a great accomodation with kids (particularly having a kitchen so not every meal had to be out/room service), the main pool is massive and 3' all around so there was very little stress with the kids in the pool, the spa was heavenly, food was good, the beach was lovely (Beachcombers for lunch is the move), there's golf if anyone wanted to play and Nobu was just a short drive away along with great shopping (which we didn't do a ton of but still worth mentioning!).

Buying: Ballet flats
I've been waiting for ballet flats to return since the day they were deemed uncool. Not only are they the easiest shoe to slip on, other than sandals, but as a 5'4 gal, I appreciate the way they elongate my legs. I bought these classic Everlane ballet flats last year and wore them into the ground, so I need a refresher. I'm currently eyeing the same pair in another color, these studded guys, these or these rhinestone options, and/or a pair of Chanel flats if I were to splurge.

Using: The Foam Roller
Holy tush ache in my third trimester! The only thing that seems to help is foam rolling which reminded me how much I love it. If you have one and haven't used it in a while, go dust it off. Total game changer!

---

ALRIGHT, LET’S GET INTO IT:
End of My Hot Girl Era

As a teen, 20-something, and even 30-something, there's a specific aura, a je ne sais quoi that girls/women exude. It's evolutionary prime time for finding a mate and then...mating. It's when you're at what the beauty standards and cultural standards deem as your peak. Skin is tight, things are perky, wrinkles are rare, metabolisms are fast, collagen is still being produced at a rapid rate, and so on. It's the magical age of true effortless beauty. It's partying until 3 a.m. and then throwing on a little mascara for brunch and still looking incredible. It's the hot girl era.

But as most things go in retrospect, it's also when you take it for granted or have not yet come into the confidence of knowing how beautiful you are. 

At that age, it's impossible to fully understand aging and what's coming, like the true feelings that come with aging. You're naively young and beautiful - even if you don't feel it. It's when the cat calls are guaranteed, heads turn as you and your youthful friends walk into a bar, when older women in your family remind you to slather on the SPF and to savor every inch of your perky boobs.

...And then things change.

You settle into womanhood, your body changes, your skin changes, your clothing changes, and the way others view you changes. People start calling you ma’am, there's far less flirtation and there's definitely no carding when you buy wine.

It's uncharted territory of getting acquainted with new features like jowls, crows feet, laugh lines, melasma, and under eye creases. Lines that I've refrained from filling in or botoxing away but most certainly can think about obsessively if I catch a bad glimpse of myself in the mirror or look particularly old in a photo.

Beauty brands, clothing brands and websites that always spoke to me, I suddenly feel disconnected to. Did they always feature such young, poreless, models? Have the dresses always been that short? Where have all the models my age gone?  I could have sworn I didn’t feel old shopping here a year ago!

Despite nobody offering to buy me a drink at the bar, I will say, that I see a lot of perks of this new post-hot-girl stage, which I'll share here:

• Closing the hot girl era also meant opening a more self-assured one. One where I’m less insecure and much more comfortable in my own skin - something that for me, has come with age.

• Less catcalls - because honestly, they might be flattering but most are uncomfortable as well.

• People take me more seriously, particularly in business. 

• I feel sexier and more in touch with my sexuality even though others may find me less sexy now than I was then.

• It has forced me to work on prioritizing self-compassion vs. self-criticism - something that’s really important to model for my daughters.

• I’ve always found older women to be incredibly chic and interesting to look at. Despite the growing pains that come with letting go of youth, there’s an elegance to the beauty that comes with age and I’m embracing it. I think “quiet luxury,” “rich mom energy,” and “coastal grandmother” are a sign that society is embracing it, too.

• I find joy in the maintenance, something I didn't really need much of when I woke up fresh as a daisy. The face devices, the lasers, the graceful aging serums - it’s all so fun to experiment with in moderation. 

• More appreciation for my body - mostly because it's given our family so much! When I catch myself judging my body, I immediately remind myself to be compassionate for all it has given us. 

• The days of tight unbreathable mini dresses and blister-inducing high heels are over (hallelujah!). 

• Knowing what it feels like to age is also knowing that you’ll never be any younger than you are today. Enjoy what you have when you have it!

Another perk of this particular stage for me? Living in Santa Ynez while coming to terms with it! People aren’t obsessed with appearance here, there isn’t an entire industry dedicated to being young and beautiful and face-altering isn’t in the culture. When I’m in LA (which is often), I feel much more aware of it, everyone talks about it and you can’t walk through Erewhon without noticing how tight, bright, and puffed everyone is. It starts to feel contagious and I’ll catch myself looking in the mirror, thinking about how I can better my own face and body. Gahhh the struggles!

How about you - how are you feeling about aging? To botox or not to botox?

---

MEALS TO MAKE THIS WEEK:
Almond Milk Horchata Shake (breakfast)
Farmers’ Market Frittata (brunch)
Zucchini & Leek Soup (lunch)
The Easiest Shrimp Fried Rice (dinner)
Maple & Miso Sheet Pan Salmon w/ Green Beans (dinner)