The Power of Being Less Reactive
9 tips on how to be less reactive and the healthiness that comes along with it
THE WEEKLY EDIT:
Adding to water: Trace Mineral Drops
I had a massage for the first time post-partum last week and the masseuse thought my muscles felt dehydrated. I told her that's almost impossible given my 128 oz water intake so she suggested adding these trace mineral drops to my water to help electrolyte absorption. Apparently we often lose minerals in filtered water so adding a mix of magnesium, chloride, sodium, potassium etc. can help boost hydration. I'm trying it - will keep you posted!
Taking: Vitamin C
Anyone else have an endless loop of sickness in their house? So rough! I'm taking vitamin c everyday - I like both Pique or Lypo–Spheric.
Wearing: Postpartum capsule
My postpartum/breastfeeding capsule wardrobe is pretty much complete with these last two additions. One, a La Ligne button down (you can use code GERI10 for 10% off their site, btw!) and two, the Jenni Kayne Flynn two sizes up - this is my favorite layering cashmere piece that's also great over the shoulders (you can use code GERI15 for 15% off Jenni Kayne anytime, too!)
Reading: Some books I like to revisit every year
This book changed my life the first time I read it - I've never taken more notes or applied more tools to my own life. Obviously things slip so I like to read this at the start of each year. I'm always interested to see how much growth I've made in certain areas of my life and which new lessons I learn and apply based on my current season.
The best part about this book is that you can open it on any given day and receive a lesson on stoicism - it's another one that impacts me differently each year that I use it. In general, stoicism mimics a less reactive life, so if you're reading today's Substack topic and want more out of it, this would be a great book to pick up!
Naval is a highly successful entrepreneur, philosopher, and investor. Born with next to nothing, he used the principles shared in this book to live a uniquely happy life, based on his strengths. This is one of those books I like to read a few chapters of at a time. Great business and money lessons, but also filled with sensible ways to be successful.
I suggest this 'practical guide to personal freedom' to everyone. It re-teaches me how to communicate, manifest, overcome challenges, etc each time I read it.
ALRIGHT, LET’S GET INTO IT:
The Power of Being Less Reactive
One of the best Lessons From My 30s was my personal evolution of reactiveness, more specifically becoming less reactive. Don't get me wrong, it was something I truly had, and still have to, consciously work on and settle into. But once I opened the aperture on reactiveness, I began to understand how to use being less reactive to my advantage. This, of course, took years of self-assessment. I needed to get clear on my triggers, alleviate the impulsive need to argue back for the justice of being right, gain better self-awareness around emotional responses, and begin to not only understand but to discern, that oftentimes people are looking to elicit a reaction (particularly children).
Little shift by little shift, I experienced the healthiness that comes with being less reactive. So, I kept pushing it further. The more I did it, the better I felt. This little but big practice helped me become much more intentional with my words and actions. And so, I continued, applying the thinking to other relationships. From shopping to tech to parenthood to the workplace and to social situations or encounters with strangers, here are ways I support myself by being less reactive:
Batch communication
Batching is a tool I use in so many areas of my life. I batch my errands to a couple of days a week when I'm out. I batch any work I need to film for days I showered and looked presentable. I also try to batch my communication - which is a really simple way to be less reactive. I know it feels like you need to respond to texts, emails, Slacks, DMs, etc. urgently, but rarely is that the case. If you're constantly bogged down by notifications and live your life with all platform tabs open, it's impossible to not want to respond right away. Or at the least, maybe you're not responding but you're distracted by the notifications and likely not being efficient in your work or what you're trying to do.
Try batching your emails a few times a day and reallyyyy try not to reach for your communication platforms first thing in the morning - or else you're being reactive from the moment you wake. Same thing with texts, phone calls, and the list goes on. Keep your DND on and turn off platforms until you're ready to batch. Even then, you don't have to respond right away - you can always leave something you need to sleep on until the next day of batching. This leads me to...
Take a beat or sleep on it
The age-old advice that still rings true. I even mentioned it in my Lessons From My 30s, a decade in which I became far less reactive. Depending on the situation, take a pause of some kind. Maybe that's a few seconds if you're dealing with your child's tantrum and can't exactly sleep on it, or maybe it's a couple of days if your gut doesn't settle on a reaction quickly. We've all been heated or let the ego take over in a response, only to regret it later. And we've all also wished we said something different - stood up for ourselves more, didn't commit to something we are dreading, and so on. Giving yourself space to settle and respond with a clear head and not out of emotion, will always lead to a better internal outcome.
I have a friend who will always write out her response to a situation where one is needed and assess it the next day before hitting send. I love this idea because usually, your emotions will have settled a bit and you can edit your response more clearly. But you're also getting any initial feelings out of your system (even if they end up being deleted). Love that!
The same can be applied to IG shopping. Instead of an “I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it” impulsive mentality in response to liking something on someone else (ehhh hemm exactly what IG ads are intended to do!), a shift to an “I see it, I like it, I want it, I’m going to not buy this and really think about it” mindset helps with intentional shopping habits. Put it in your cart and see if you're still thinking about it a few days later.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to The In-Between to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.